Clue Cult

My fingers have already gone numb from clasping onto this scrap of paper. My palm moist and body tremors; nervous about what I am setting out to do. I am boarding a plane to take me across the ocean. With this little rectangular piece of paper my everything will change. This is not my first time flying on a plane. This is not my first time taking this trip, nor my first time feeling my heart race over this chance.

I can’t help but stare down at this little piece of paper with excitement. I am also nervous and scared. My fingers clutch onto this ticket, clutching onto this world of possibility, fingers numb from this white-knuckled grip. I have a chance. A chance to completely turn my life inside out; one true shot at love.

My world as I knew it has long faded away. Fate put us together, cruelly, and cruelly kept us apart. My one true love, though I never before believed in that, was found literally on the other side of the world. This same world will be and has been brought to its knees, not in an agonizing defeat, but in more of a kneeling respect. I have truly found my equal. Nearly two years have passed from the moment we met. In two years fate has only allowed a few brief encounters and thousands of hours tormented by the reality that our fingers cannot touch. Separated always by miles of telephone line and computer screens. My world and my fate are about to change.

I hold in my hand a ticket. I have a small rectangular pass to freedom, happiness and more importantly, my love. I can’t even begin to tell you what I am giving up, nor list the infinite gains. I can’t describe how nervous I am to start a new life, how scared I am to leave the life I know, and just how excited I am to finally wake up next to my love every day. I am the proud owner of chance. I clasp this scrap of paper in my hand for dear life. A life I don’t deserve, but pray everyday to become worthy of this gift.

Here at Clue Cult we are not saints, as you well know :) We like buying crap and we LOVE eating crap from time to time (as well as consuming immoderate amounts of booze whenever we can!). BUT every Monday we try to change our evil ways in order to become a bit healthier (only to see our noble plan fail miserably during the week end!) and a bit wiser.

So let’s start this week with a small and very funny animation of a parody of Star Wars, made to alert people about some of the serious problems of producing and eating food using dangerous synthetic chemicals, Genetically Modified Organisms, allowing big corporation interests control the food chain, and other problems that helps to destroy nature and the health of people.

As this animation shows, producing and buying organic food on smaller and more ethical stores is the best solution for many of these problems. Check it out and… may the farm be with you!

TheInDecider 9 million Americans watched Jersey Shore last week, a statistic that was cited by S&P as the primary cause of the credit downgrade.

juicymorsel If I had to suggest one item to really complement capri-length jorts on a middle-age white guy, it’s a “Kill me now” T-shirt.

mrdavehill 6am. What the hell am I doing up this early? And don’t even get me started on why I’m masturbating in this cab.

pattonoswalt Can’t wait to be a senior citizen. Every time I’m about to defecate in my pants, I’ll wink & say, “Soiler alert!” Fun!

OverlandParker I can’t believe Justin Bieber didn’t win the Teen Choice award for “Most likely to put this award up his butt.”

JimGaffigan Remember the couple in The Philippines that traded their kid for a karaoke machine? I wonder if it was a really nice karaoke machine.

nealbrennan One man’s “trauma” is another man’s “most hilarious shit I’ve ever seen.”

robdelaney Whenever I’m in a bad mood, I find a realtor’s bus-bench ad & press my balls into their face. Adios, frowny face!

juicymorsel Next time someone says they’re not book smart but street smart, ask them to name them all. In order.

capricecrane Rod Stewart never gave us the option to “let him know” if we *didn’t* want his body or *didn’t* think he was sexy.

rainnwilson Business ideas: Exploding dolls to teach kids about death. Also, gourmet croutons.

OverlandParker Going to church this morning obviously didn’t change me because it’s not even noon and I’m already lying about going to church this morning

YUCKYBOT The most awkward place in the world is the waiting room at the free clinic. Everyone just looks at one another like “Ugh. We fucked up.”

alexblagg Seems like Hollywood is running out of comic book movies to make. Someone should create a new hero called Superfluous.

juicymorsel Some days the most accomplishment I can point to is “I dressed myself.”

We are having a very shitty summer in Paris…rainy and cold and all in all kind of  depressing. Eh well.

Thankfully there’s some nice and uplifting music coming our way that makes us feel on holiday even though we’re not (losers, I know)… it’s Lilly Wood and The Prick!  This French urban-folky duo has been getting a lot of attention lately…and rightly so! Check out a few pictures from their June concert in Paris and watch their cute video for “This is a love song” after the jump.

Lilly Wood and The Prick – Paris – 06.01.11

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