Xmas Tree Extravaganza!
By the way, can I just start this post by confessing that I am not 100% sure of the meaning of the term “extravaganza” but that I think that it’s such a cool word that I feel the need to randomly use it even when not completely appropriate. Anyway.
It’s that time of the year!! Yes, like it or not, the atrocious Christmas season is upon us! Don’t get me wrong, I do like Christmas as much as the next drunk-ass. What’s not to like in a season where you can sit on the couch in your pajama all day long, watching horrendous TV shows, listening to the ramblings of your old folks, while shamelessly alternating sweet and salty snacks and take the opportunity to be back in your childhood home (finally as an adult) to empty the liquor cabinet under the I-judge-you-but-nothing-I-can-do about-it look of your mother?
It’s just that together with the season comes this dreadful obligation to be chipper and festive and, let’s face it, it’s hard to comply with all this imposed joy in a month when people are stressed out of their minds and work is at its bitchiest peak of the year.
My favorite way to force my cynical self in the holiday spirit is to put up the Christmas tree. The process itself is a very vicious one…I mean, you know what I am talking about. Ornaments that need to be handled like raw eggs otherwise they get smashed in a billion pieces, garlands that leave a glittery ordeal all around them… and the lights? Damn the lights! Somehow, I always forget that the they need to be put first and not last like I normally end up doing while I cuss like a sailor and risk death by electric shock. So, yes, all in all it’s an abominable practice but the result is pretty cool and it’s guaranteed to put you in a merry spirit!
Now, having said that, the Xmas tree is a pretty traditional affair but that doesn’t mean that you cannot put a touch of crazy – I know you have it in you! – in the whole process, like the following pictures so vehemently testify.
Call them bonkers if you will but I must admit that some of these crazy (even though they would prefer to be called “alternative” ) trees could totally fit in my living room. Like the beer bottles one. I could totally co-habit with that baby, especially if the bottles are full. And how about the Mary-Jane one? Just what I need to help me put up my parents insanity over the holiday break. Oh, and please keep me far away from the sushi one because, as my friends know, there’s pretty much nothing that I wouldn’t do for a mountain of Japanese deliciousness like that one. Yum.
Some of them are just plain creepy. Barbie doll Xmas tree? Seriously? Cause nothing screams Christmas like 50 pairs of plastic legs and boobs. And I couldn’t even bear to look at the upside down tree without puking up my eggnog all over the carpet!
Anyway, enjoy this little gallery and remember that, just because it’s Christmas, you don’t necessarily have to tone down the crazy!