Clue Cult

OMG culters, the obsession is back. Titanic – aka the Failboat – has hit the screens again. AGAIN!! Seriously. Because that mess of a movie didn’t do enough damages back in the 90s it had to be resurrected. Just when bitches around the globe were finally done reenacting that barf-inducing love-scene in the front of the ship ( yes the one that even you, mah friend, are not immune to – I saw you on that ferry boat!) they had to bring it back. I mean, who can forget the level of lunatic hysteria the first time around? Back in high school I had a friend who went to see the movie 55 times! I mean, 55 freakin times! Bitch is probably still in therapy for that.

Anyway, shit is back and there’s nothing we can do about it. Are you going to watch? On one side, I gotta say that I am tempted. I mean it’s 3D after all. Last time I went to see a 3D movie, I was so stoned I was a freakin airplane and spent 25 bucks on candy so, naturally, I really enjoyed it. But there’s probably no amount of herbal magic that could make up for the 3 hours of cheesy drama that I really hated even though I was a lame teenager…and then there’s Kate Winslet – don’t even get me started on that grumpy looking chick. Without mentioning the shitty ending: “I’ll never let go Jack, I’ll never let go.” (and yet she lets him go sink into the ocean because bitch was speaking metaphorically. Whore!). So all in all, I made up my mind and I am staying away from this mess. What about you Culters, can you stomach it?