Clue Cult

Is it just me, or are the fashions of the Eighties, in particular  the “workout attires” better than those of today? Once upon a time, back in the Eighties, the decade many of us would like to erase.  There is a generally accepted view that women had excessively big hair, far too much jewellery and questionable music choices.  The workout clothes however had flair; vibrant colours that drew your eye and accented the body. The woman in that decade wore combinations of colour matching leg warmers and sweat-bands. Their outfits screamed sexy without being too provocative. They wore form-fitting, but not obscene.

Today, however, it seems that we are always confronted with either one of two outfit styles; either frumpy or trashy. There seems to be no “middle ground” between unimaginative gray sweats that are two sizes too big, or scandalous scraps of fabric that leave nothing to the imagination.

Colonel Mustard has figured out that the frumpy ones are trying to avoid detection *wink, wink*.  Seriously though, don’t they realize that they in turn are causing a mass desire to gouge one’s eyes out? There is a fine line between “casual wear” and “I couldn’t be bothered getting dressed this morning” wear. The trashy ones want all the attention, and even if they have the body to pull it off, it should remain in the bedroom…  There is something sensual about leaving at least a *little bit* to the imagination. (Especially the camel toes – eww!).  I mean, girls that wear midriff-shirts as a dress, or see through clothing are not particularly the type of girls that a guy should want to take home to meet his Mom.

Also, another modern fashion “faux pas” seems to be related to the “battle of the bulge”. As our society gets heavier, the desire to cover up the bulge is greater and fashion, for fashions sake, suffers.  At the same time the desire to show off the “muffin top” is also on the climb. I see more and more people trying to squeeze into clothes that only accentuate the fat. It isn’t only the skimpy clothes that scream “Fat person inside”. The clothes that are way too big only look like you are wearing a tent.

Workout clothes are supposed to help you feel comfortable. They are to help you feel strong and secure. They are a way to show off the sexiness that exists within. In a strangely sentimental way I, Colonel Mustard, misses the good old Eighties fashion and the Jane Fonda and Suzanne Somers inspired work out attire.  I could do without the big hair, and the music choices that accompany this genre, but damn the outfits were hot!